Transformation Project Proposal: The Sacred Space

There is a place that I love to go and meditate, find my center, and overall "get my shit together" when I feel frazzled or lost. That place is called The Sacred Space, and is located in Summerland. Here there is a metaphysical shop in the front with healing tools and books. If you go into the back, there is a large maze like space filled with greenery, ponds, bridges, beds, and couches. Large crystals and statues of Buddha and other various figures. It is an extremely relaxing and meditative space, they are always serving free tea, and even offer their space for one to come and take a nap. In each of these couch/bed spaces there is always a table with a journal (supplied by the shop) for people to come and write in. I would like to take some quotes/clips form these journals (including my own), and accompany them by photography of the place for my project. In addition to some of my before, during, and after journal entries from my personal journal. I was also considering maybe putting a journal I provided there for a few weeks, but I'm not sure yet which one would be better. With that, an added analysis of how this space effects people's - and my - state of mind while we are in it. I truly believe that this place is sacred and provides a service for people like no one else, so this project idea means a lot to me. Below is a photo I have taken on one of my past visits.

Freeing the Writer Within

Writing Down the Bones: I love the use of the term "composting" in this week's first reading. Last quarter I took an ecopsychology course that talked a lot about composting within the psyche and I always really loved that analogy. Now to hear it applied to writing - I love it even more. I think it's important to remember that throughout our lives, thoughts, feelings, and the things we do - there is a lot of good that can grow out of the bad or "ugly" shit that happens - but only if we allow it to fully process. 

Goldberg killing it again with the importance of our lives. Her emphasis on the memorials for Holocaust etc. is a really beautiful example of how we can appreciate each other. Acknowledge the importance of all of our detail on this earth. Her advice on going further in the next reading adds to this importance of life in my opinion. Yes - our lives are important - but if we push ourselves we can produce something so much more! I liked that we had to read these one after the other even though they were not in the book that way. 

Why do I write? Hmmmm - because I need to.  Because most of the time my heart and soul flow better through my fingers and onto paper than out my mouth. Because sometimes I can solve world problems better through a written practice. It brings me to a place where I can really process things. 

What she says about using a cigarette hanging out her mouth to help her write is interesting. I never considered the use of props before, however the cigarette would be too tempting for someone like me who quite cold turkey a year and 3/4 ago... not that I've been counting... 

Overall - and I know I have said this before - I truly enjoy Natalie Goldberg's writing. I definitely plan to read this book in it's entirety eventually, and am grateful we were assigned to it for this course. 

Fifth Response: Goldberg, Rubin, & Paulson

Writing Down the Bones: I appreciate her writing about trouble with your inner editor/censor. This is something I experience often during my writing process, and it is nice to read about a possible solution! Giving it a voice seems so obvious after reading it, but is something I will definitely be giving a shot!

The Happiness Project: What she says here about gratitude and perspective are important in life, and both something I have had a big realization with recently. I like how she writes about how reading about catastrophe makes her grateful for what she currently has. Sometimes (like when reading/watching the news) we can see and hear about all these horrible things and not stop to think about everything great we have in our lives, and I think that's an important to take that time to stop and be grateful. 

The Last Lecture: I thoroughly enjoy his writing style! In addition I agree with much of what he says about being able to critique - which is a word I prefer much more than judge - yourself. Yes! Stop complaining! This made me happy to read because I feel the same way. Life takes hard work and we all have to do it in order to be successful - so get over it.  Harness your inner Jackie Robinson work ethic and keep going! Love it. 

His style in getting people's attention was clever too, I would have come back to that class for sure. In addition I have always (and still am) a big fan of a simple card. I am always writing cards, for much more than just thank yous. However I agree that the thank you's are important as well, they are a simple and personal way to show gratitude. It is so vital to human happiness to stay connected to others, especially for me, being the extremely social person I am. Human connection is a life force for me, which keeps me extremely grateful to those close to me. I enjoyed these chapters a lot and his writing style on these topics.

Fourth Response: Kahn & Kawulich

Putting Ethnographic Writing in Context: This article is a good read that brought to a lot of light to a type of writing I don't have too much experience with. It makes me think of all the times I traveled to new cultures and realize how I should have been keeping journals! However it can be really hard to do that when you're traveling, with all the mental and physical exhaustion that comes with being so stimulated in so many ways for a long period of time. Even a few notes at the end of the night would have helped me to remember the indigenous people I have met  and what I was thinking at the time. Definitely going to keep that in mind for all upcoming travel experiences. 

I am glad he added an example of his own experience. It is hard to predict how people may react to this kind of writing, even if they sign consent forms and all that jazz. It is really unfortunate that he lost someone in his life that he respected due to this project. This article gave a lot of helpful information (and history) about ethnographic writing; in addition to many of the possibilities within the process, both good and bad. 

Participant Observation as a Data Collection Method: Observation as a method of data collection is extremely important and valid for certain fields of research. Especially when researching animal or human behavior, and being a student of psychology, that has been very clear to me. This article (and the other) had me considering how often the ones being observed change their behavior - even juuuust a little - after they know they are being observed. It caused me to  consider how I may change if I were ever the one to be observed as well. I appreciate all the information here about the participation of the observer, and the possible lack of understanding to do that. In addition to the many possible effects the dynamic (or relationship between observer and participants) could have on the study. There are so many different things to be aware/careful of in this type of research. These articles definitely helped me understand ways which I had not even thought of before. 

Third Response: Goldberg, Bullough, & De Botton

Writing Down the Bones: I can really relate to what she says about exposing your life in a way that is human - not "how your ego may want to be represented" (pg. 39-40). That has been really hard for me to get past. Sometimes to the point of ripping out imperfect pages from my journals. The way she described that was well written and spoke to my experience a lot. As for obsessions, I already write about mine quite a bit. Most of my journal writing has been me venting about what happens in my world, aka things I am obsessing over. However, I like the idea of making a list out of them, to give a new perspective. That is a tip I'd like to try. Lastly, I think her suggestion to order a meal and not eat it when writing in a restaurant is all wrong. The rest of the ideas yes, such as leaving a big tip and using the restaurant atmosphere to fuel writing. But I have to say I don't see many restaurants being happy that someone ordered food and didn't eat it. Wasteful. Blah. 
It was very interesting to read the poetry entries. They felt abstract but simple. 

Psychical Distance: Woah. I have a lot of frustrations towards how many times I had to read some sections to really digest what was being said here, and I still feel a bit lost. There were descriptions of the artists formulations of personal experience that I did enjoy though - but still - all very dense and abstract feeling to me. 

Painting: Wow, this is some really great writing, about a really beautiful process. I enjoyed reading about Taylor's draw to the tree after seeing it (following his girlfriends death), and feeling it needed some justice. In addition to the way he gets so lost in his work he forgets to eat and just keeps painting. I like reading about the process people go through when they are really passionate about something. It's truly a whole other type of "working". 

Exploring Three Minds in Writing

  For this assignment I read two different online journals, and one in the form of a published book. The difference between all of them has been really fascinating to notice, but comparing them to each other almost began to feel wrong. Being a student of psychology I experience that feeling sometimes too, like putting people into categories is wrong. But this is how we learn right? So on we go into the abyss of comparison!

The online journals I found are much rawer, and I’m not completely sure why that is. The only thing I can guess is that they want their “rawness” (i.e. thoughts and ramblings) to be heard, so therefor they feel more comfortable putting it all out there. There are a few that I saw with an added note on the side that they appreciate the feedback, which left me thinking “WHAAT?!?!?! How could anyone want feedback from just anyone?!” But hey – it’s not my journal that’s on display.

One of the online journals I read is written by a girl named Sarah, and I didn’t even realize what gender she was until after reading many of her entries. However she uses a lot of slang terms – sometimes to the point where I have to read it a few times to even attempt to guess what she means. She uses pictures from time to time, of things she buys and sees when she’s out, which is a nice touch.

            She has been writing in this online journal for quite a long time, so I didn’t read all of her entries. From what I can tell she graduated high school recently and goes to a community college. Her writing style is very erratic and different from one entry to the next. Sometimes I even had to check and make sure it was still the same person’s entries. She uses periods and other punctuation a lot for dramatic effect; and uses her journal to express how she feels about typical life things, such as school, work, loneliness, etc. With that said, I realized most of the titles of her entries are song lyrics. I can’t help but to feel like that is a front, but hey, I would have done the same exact thing when I was her age. And when I say the exact same thing, I mean it.

She talks a lot about wanting just one friend, and how sometimes she gets jealous of people around her who have great friends in their lives that they always hang out with. This makes me feel really sad. On that note she talks about how annoyed she gets when people seem to ignore her posts on Facebook, saying things like, “Can’t they just pretend to care? For a minute?” She seems to grow in her thoughts and her writing over time though, which is motivating when it comes to my own journal writing.   

The next online journal I wrote was by an older gentleman named Don. This one was quite the opposite of the young girl, and not just because of their clear differences in age and gender. This is a very religious, disabled man, who makes it very clear what a “sin” he thinks homosexuality is. Needless to say this wasn’t a pleasant read for me, but on I red, because this person’s journal and feelings aren’t about me. It’s up to me to remember that.

Don uses his journal to vent about his feelings and religion – but mostly his experience being disabled, and recently suffering a stroke. His grammar is poor and it seems sometimes that he may be on pain medication when typing, because he doesn’t make a whole lot of sense sometimes. His style of writing is very simple, but he does attempt to use punctuation correctly. Unlike Sarah, she uses it to make her writing more dramatic and unique.

            The reason I decided to keep reading Don’s entries was because it allowed me to enter a world I will never experience. Being a much older, very religious, disabled man. He uses one entry to write a very extensive apology letter to his son, for harshly arguing with him about homosexuality. He even stated in the letter that he made it public for the purpose of allowing the world the chance to know how sorry he really feels, and that he wasn’t afraid to put his mistakes on display in such a way. His language is old fashioned sometimes, which I find refreshing. Even with the other journals I skimmed through, none of them used language like that. Overall, it was pretty interesting to read this guy’s thoughts and experiences with his disability. Although I may not agree with a lot of what he says, it’s a perspective I am rarely exposed to.

            The last journal I read was a book called, “Confessions of a BEATLEMANIAC!!” (pictured below). The author of this book walked into the auto shop I used to work at one day, and a Beatles song came on the radio. We both started singing along, and inevitably got into a conversation about the band. I told her about how my Mother took me to a Fab Four (cover band) show when I was a teenager, and I was pissed. But as soon as the music started, I fell in love. She went on to tell me about this book she wrote, about her journey to meet the Beatles when she was a teenager. She was a wonderfully sweet women, who signed the book for me and left a sweet note (also pictured below).

            The book is a collection of her diaries when she was a teenager, from the moment she saw them on Ed Sullivan for the first time in 1964, to the following years where she made it her mission to meet them – and she was successful! With that said, the language is that of a teenage girl in the 60’s. Adorable, sweet, and super dramatic! The book also features the drawings from her diaries (one is on the cover, pictured below), which are a perfect way to tie together how she was truly feeling at the time. She uses language like “Ho-hum!” and uses dashes for dramatic effect like “b-o-r-i-n-g!”, and it all reminds me so much of my Mom! My Mom was close to the same age, and I got her diaries when she died - and man - they used very similar language!

            In addition to her diary entries, she includes letters between her and her best friend Paulette, whom she went on this grand adventure with. These were used for the parts of the book with actual dialog, which is another really nice touch. These girls literally created a world where they are dating Ringo and Paul, and their letters speak of visits to England and dream-like vacations with their loves. Oh, how imaginative a bored, young, and obsessed girl can be! It is all so bright and exciting, a rollercoaster of emotions and adventure. She clearly used her diary at that time as any teenage girl does, to express her dramatically strong emotions.

            Between all three of the journals, I have to say that they all use them for ultimately the same goal, to really express themselves. As many of us do, but every person is so different that it has been truly beautiful to read these different perspectives on life. Emotions and thoughts manifesting themselves in unique and individualistic ways, all expressed through our shared ability to write. The true rawness I found in the online journals was a little surprising, but ultimately very interesting. It also made me really happy to be able to use this wonderful book that walked into my life for an assignment like this! Each writer expresses similar feelings – such as loneliness and excitement – through their own unique language and writing style. I couldn’t see how important this assignment would be to really understanding journals until I was mid-way through it, but I’m happy with the results! 

Second Reaction: The Happiness Project

Pay Attention - Mindfulness: This is a reading I can strongly relate to at this time in my life. In addition to this course, I am taking a mindfulness class (as I'm sure some of you are as well) and the meditation is something that has been difficult for me. With that said, it didn't surprise me that she didn't want to go down the road of meditation. Although, it occurred to me that she only thinks she didn't choose the road of meditation, because to me when she is talking about pondering koans, she is meditating. It may not be the picture in her mind of what meditation means, but sounds like she meditated on those quotes (or koans) quite a bit to me!

When she starts talking about “True Rules”, I start to feel as though she is ranting. Sometimes I think her writing is pleasant and sometimes I kind of get this, “Ahh! Where is this going?!” feeling. However I do relate to the changing of the “I’m in a hurry” thought. This is something that took a lot of time and practice for me. I am someone that truly dislikes being in a hurry, to the point of physical reactions in my body. I begin to over-heat and sweat, and my mind starts firing at a million miles a minute about all the uncomfortable things that may happen due to my lateness. So changing that thought and behavior became very important to me. Now I am proud to say I am much better, I wake up earlier, feel better and am where I need to be often early. This practice helps me to maintain a calm mind and body. In addition, I enjoyed her idea of post it’s around the house to help cultivate certain states of mind. This is something I may have to try some day.

Overall, she makes a lot of good points, and creative ways to help maintain a happy mind and life. What she has to say is interesting, whether I enjoy the way it is written or not!